closer to thirty than twenty

taken by rhr
Originally uploaded by sideshowknits

During the weekly phone call from my mother (made all the more special by the fact that today is my 26th birthday) we were discussing memory and how people process memories. It seems things have to pass through the digestive tract of the short term filtering out the more nutritious nuggets. Eventually it can be recalled and reflected upon by the long term memory. But there has to be a period of passing where the memory lies dormant. Things become clearer with the passage of time.
On this day last year, round about this time I was waiting in line with a good friend from college, his fiance and my sweetheart (at the time) to ride Space Mountain for the first time. I was grey by the time I got out of the ride but Disneyland was the most magical place on earth even for a jaded twenty-five year old. I have to send out thanks on this day. Not for birthday gifts, or birthday wishes... but to those who have made the past few years turbulent and wonderful all at the same time.
Last year was amazing and it was in last few months of 2006 that I learned how to love and be loved. I broke a heart or two and as I look back I can't say that I would change anything. I ended up where I was supposed to be. But Ryan touched me deeply. He's not quite on speaking terms with me. I wish that it were different but sometimes relationships aren't meant to morph into something new and you just have to be happy to have had that person in your life at all. He took around the world and imagined a never-land for me every night. He taught me the value of having an extraordinary imagination and how to put up a good fight. My birthdays will never the same. I will forever think about being 25 and skipping through Disneyland, being sung to by street cleaners and believing for the first time in a long time that I was a princess. I hope you hear this when I say "Happy Birthday Ryan! I hope you are well."

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